Congenital Abnormality

Congenital Abnormality  (congenital anomaly, congenital malformation, birth defect) is a condition which is present at the time of birth which varies from the standard presentation (Wikipedia).

Yups, I was born with that condition.

I was born with a condition named polydactyly (poly = many, dactyly = finger) my right hand have 6 finger.

Did you know that about 3% of newborns have a major physical anomaly, meaning that has cosmetic or functional significance.

From my point of view.. cosmetic significance can be more harmfull rather than functional.. well you can say, when people always ask “what happen with your hand ?”, later on.. maybe someone with congenital limb anomaly rather go seek for hide.. rather than meeting with others that keep on asking.

Lucky for me.. my parents never made my thumb condition is something that bothering…  so I end up, never hide it.. even when my thumb like that, I didn’t became left handed (trying to hide my right hand), even I can say.. not much people notice my condition.

Ever wondering.. “why me ? among other than my 4 sibling ?!!”

Well 40-60% congenital anomalies in humans is unknown, only 12-25% have pure genetic .. So I prefer to choose the answer  “unknown”.

Some research said that congenital anomalies involving brain are 10 per 1000 , heart 8 per 1000 , kidney 4 of 1000, limb 1 of 1000.

Than again I am still gratefull, although I was born with the rare one.. limb anomaly, atleast it didn’t effect any risk for my life ( 28% infant deaths due to heart anomaly), or my brain.

Remember one thing…  having one part of anomaly, doesn’t mean your whole body also anomaly..

Live with it…  if someone ask you about your anomaly.. make it as a chance to explain.. so that more people aware about this condition..

 

I am a right hand polydactyly, and I work with my right hand =D

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My Big Brother… my father’s pride

His first name was my dad and my mom’s name mixed.

His second name was the date he was born, meaning middle august.

His last name, was how much my father hope…

BADISGA “Bahagialah Ayah Dan Ibu Serta keluarGA” .. “and may happinest will always be within my dad, my mom and my family”.

Can’t imagine how happy our family was, when he was born.. After all he is the first boy…

He really did make his family proud and happy…

I guess whole trophy at my house.. was actually he earned it alone…

He is smart.. that’s for sure..

He went to some competition for Math.. got trophy..

He even went on TV during high school.. having a competition againt other school (during that time.. it was nationally broadcast..).

He made our father proud, by seeing him received a trophy from his highschool for being best graduates.

He entered ITB, best enginer institute.. our dad always said “going to mechanic school, I really want to enter ITB.. so famous even when I was young…ITB, one of my dream..”

 

“A father will always be more proud about his children achievement rather than his own achievement”

He always said “my Dad is my friend”

Guess it was true.. for some reason, he sometimes talked to our dad, and I think.. my dad the only one that can understand what he was talking…

Having his work as a highway consultant, make him travel a lot.. the best thing for my father again.. sometimes he can accompanied his son, while doing that, sometimes our dad can visit his relatives..

Remembering, how much times that our dad needs to visit his relatives.. well thanks to his works, my brother able to visit most of our father relatives…

“A father want his child had more opportunity than himself, not relay to anyone, and always need him”

 

Man of word..

Always wondering.. how our dad makes my brother “man of words”.. always keeping his promise.. especially with his family…

He said to his father “Dad, please just pay my educational fee and live expenses until I got my Bachelor degree”.

Of course my dad never really agreed with that.. not until he can finally stand on his own feet..

So its kind of funny when one day, he gave money to his parent “here’s the money “I borrowed” for the last one year after I graduated”.

Than again.. our dad only laugh “how can a child have a debt to his own parent”.

He always have a good appereance in my dad’s view..

Being so independently.. responsible..confidently… my dad was really speechles when my brother ask for married…

My Dad can only said “how could I refused, when my son asking for good deed.. and yet until today he’s always be a good son of mine”.

indeed my big brother.. is my father’s pride always…

Ayah mendahulukan.. Ayah terakhir

Setiap sore, ibu menyiapkan makan malam, Kata Ibu, jaman dulu.. waktu ibu dan ayah kecil,  anak tidak boleh makan duluan dari ayahnya… Jaman dulu… segala yang dihidangkan itu..harus ayahnya dulu.

Kebayang, betapa jaman dulu…“selalu didahulukannya ayah dari anak2nya”.

 

Ayah : “Hari ini masak apa bu ?”

Ibu : “ikan mas goreng”

Ayah : “Anak-anak sudah makan ? ya, ayah makan deh” lalu mengambil bagian tengah…

Ibu : “itu kesukaan mira…”. Ayah meletakkan lagi… mengambil bagian kepala…

Ibu : “itu kesukaan osi”.. jadi ayah mengambil bagian ekor saja.

Besok sore nya…

Ayah : “hari ini masak apa bu ?”

Ibu : “gulai udang, tapi masih ada ikan mas kemarin”.

Ayah : “anak-anak ga mau lagi ikannya ?”

Ibu : “Ga, ayah aja yang habiskan”.

Mira : ambil udang banyak-banyak.. taro di piring, “Ayah… kupasin donk…”

Ibu : “udangnya aja diambil… tahu tempe dan kacang panjangnya ga..”

Ga lama ada Ajo Gadang, Ajo juga Ambil Udang, tahu dan tempe aja.

Ibu : “sayurnya…”

Mira dan Ajo gadang : “ini… menunjukkan 1 batang kacang panjang seukuran 10 cm”

Hehehe….

Besoknya…

Ayah : “hari ini masak apa bu ?”

Ibu : “Ikan mujair goreng”

Ayah : “kok ada yang disambal ada yang tidak ?”

Ibu : “yang disambal Mizu, yang tidak Siti”

Ayah : “Lauk kemarin masih ada ?”

Ibu : “tinggal gulai kacang panjangnya… (udang, tahu tempe sudah habis).

Ayah pun memakan gulai itu…

“Ayah akan melupakan apa yang ia inginkan.. agar ia bisa memberikan apa keinginan anak-anaknya”

Like Father like daughter…

25 Dec 1983

My fourth child born, a baby girl… I named her MIRA, in Greece language from MYRA, meaning pretty or beautiful, yes indeed she has a black and thick hair for a newly born baby.. and she also has a double eyelid…  and because of my first child was a girl too and number 2 and 3 was a boy.. I did expect my fourth child will be a girl. Yet there is one condition… she has a duplicated thumb on her right hand…

My wife once said.. that once when she was pregnant.. I hit an animal.. like a rodent and it hit its leg.

Sometimes it did cross my mind “was it my fault ?”

1987

I went to a pediatrician .. asking about Mira’s thumb condition.. the doctor said that it was a polydactily, it was genetic but not passed always, only on “special” occasion.. either from my gene or from my wife. The doctor suggest to do an operate.. because atleast Mira are still a little girl.. atleast she didn’t have much friend for now.. that might talking bad about her thumb..

So I ask “will it affect her writing ?.. if mira undergo an operation, will it affect her brain.. I mean.. sometimes I know, when someone having congenital .. she might be “less smart”.

And I also thought that “if GOD create her that way.. than it is GOD will.. so let it be..”

I think I had enough fault with my little daughter..  so I don’t want to make GOD angry for changing HIS Creation (mira’s right thumb).

July 1989

Today Mira start her kindergarten … I don’t really know how she was at school.. did she feel embarrass because of her thumb ?

12 June 1993

Today another  graduation day..

My Mira passed her 3rd year elementary school… being first place… well actually I do proud of her.. from my wife story atleast I know that her thumb doesn’t make her  embarrassed for making friend..  having a thumb like that.. my daughter not even  become left handed.. so definitely when she was writing, everyone will actually notice her condition…

June 1996

Today Mira graduates from her elementary school.. proud of her.. during elementary.. she only missed the 1st place one times….  Well actually her sister and brother also smart.. but Mira’s record really better.

19 Oct 1996

Mira having her first report book in junior high school.. for the first time I attend mira’s school.. because its like an unwritten deal between me and my wife.. after elementary, “I’m the one that go for our children matter”

When I met her homeroom teacher.. He said “I think Mira should move from this school ?” when I ask “why, sir ?” Her teacher said “because this is the first time the 1st rank student make a gap of 10 point with the 2nd rank student”. Once again.. I’m so proud of my little daughter.

June 1998

Guess what.. my daughter elected to join “siswa teladan SLTP”. Although she didn’t make it until the end. She end up as the 3rd place for Jakarta Barat.

August 1998

Been a tough day… every Tuesday and Thursday, mira must attend a cram school… starting 2PM until 6PM.. so I decided that I picked her every that day…  indeed just a little trip I guess between me and her.

Not much of a talking also… because sometimes she did her homework at car… or she slept along 30 minutes. Ah.. I remember.. there is a place where atleast I talked to her, during one traffic light.. I often ask “are you hungry ?” so I bought her a bread… well not much of a talk isn’t …

25 May 1999

Mira received her national examination test.. Wow.. she actually got a 9.74 score for the lesson I didn’t much care (hate) when I went to my old school…  for English..  I don’t really get it.. from whose gene did she get it for that English.

One more thing.. for the past 3 year.. Mira was 1st place always…

23 Oct 1999

For the first time… mira didn’t get any rank..

Than I realized something.. it doesn’t matter really about rank… because her school now are so much different from before… indeed this school have a high standard…  and my Mira work really hard.

Not much that I can do.. well atleast I still can take and pick her to school, although that’s also mean, I must wake up early and go home after work late…

22 June 2002

Today Mira graduate from her high school… there was a ceremony.. I didn’t attend.. well during 3 years, I don’t expect much from her again.. I even sometimes think “did she really on the right school ?” .

When She arrived at home, nothing really special… but she say “Dad, do you know what I brougt today ? .. I got a radiotape from school..!!” and I asked “Why ? what so special about that radiotape ?”

She smiled and take out her medal “ I got 1st place in my class in the national exam”. So I said “why didn’t you told me before.. atleast I can go to school..!!” . once again.. “ I’m proud of her”

August 2002

Today is the announcement day of national entrance for university. Mira choose to take medicine faculty… Usually we must wait the newspaper at the morning.. and seek for a name from thousand name…

I know that mira didn’t sleep upstair.. she must be waiting for her brother to call her.

So early morning.. or is it more like midnight.. My 2nd child call from Bandung, He went to bus terminal.. because usually newspaper are distributed there before sell at 7 AM.  He looked for her sister’s name.. and he phone me to said “Mira will enter medicine school at Bandung…”.

So I went upstair… I knocked her room and when she’s out, I hugged her and say “Alhamdulillah… my little daughter will be a doctor”.

June 2006

Today is shocking…

When mira Ask me “ why Dad ? why must I attend these medical school… ?!! it is a hard school.. and again.. I can’t became a doctor with these kind of thumb, how am I going to hold all of the medical equipment… why didn’t I went an operation early…”

And I just reply “I thought you wanna became a doctor, because you often sat next to your sister book, and sometimes read it”  and an operation ?? I don’t even thinking about about it again…

July 2006

Mira ask permission to undergo an operation…

“dear GOD.. I didn’t mean to change your creation.. I said YES, because it is the only way.. for my little daughter to became a doctor..”

August 2009

Everytime she went home.. I often ask “how is your thumb ?” I guess so much what we felt guilt for our children isn’t ??!!

May 2010

Today Mira take a vow for being a doctor..

Can hardly imagine.. whether it was her dream or my dream of her, for being A doctor…

August 2010

Mira join a research team, and I always thought that she will open a private practice with a board written her name “dr. Mira”. Than again I was thinking.. “actually, becoming doctor, is it her dream or my dream of her?”

January 2011

Hearing mira’s story about her research was also fun.. and I think, finally I know.. “Mira loves what she’s doing now.. doing research stuff”.  Just let her do what she like…

April 2011

Mira said she’s writing a book tobe publish… I only see the draft… can’t hardly wait for the book…

27 Dec 2011

Been 6 month after my Dad just passed away… I didn’t realized how much the guilt my Dad felt for me for the first day I was born…  How much I often made him uncomfortable..  was my achievement atleast met your hope for me.. and cover all the guilt you felt for all the years..

My Dad, really don’t talk that much…

Until, when I read his Diary (forgive me Dad for reading your diary).

Forgive me.. for not being a good daughter..

For not having a little nice talk on our little 30 minutes ride…

For not trying to understand what do you really want me to do..

And Dad, for the doctor stuff.. I really am grateful.. because maybe if I didn’t  enter medicine school, I might be always your unindependent little daughter…  well atleast now I can say “I’m fine walking alone…when you are no more to pick me up”.

 And also Today…

I really want to yell out loud.. so that you Dad, can hear it… “ I really got my book published..!!!”

And Dad.. about these writing stuff.. So much like you isn’t ?? for that reason.. I will always proudly said “ I inherited from my Dad’s gene..!!!”

“like father like daughter”

PS :Thankyou mom.. for telling me all the stuff about Dad, so that i can write it today…